My mind is racing. If there were brain-police, they would pull me over for speeding. On top of that, my chest feels cold and sore inside. Heavy. It feels pointless to take in my next breath. I know that this will pass, but it doesn't get me out of the current, pulling me closer to the center. Maybe my fighting it is the cause for suffering.

It's so weird: a few hours ago, I was just fine. I was better than fine, I was hard. I was swimming in an oasis of memories of intimate encounters in relationships that have long since died and rotten, so to speak. In a way, that makes me a necrophiliac, I guess.

I was just happy. Blissful. Froh. Disregarding any kind of sour patches in my past -- the cheaters, the break ups, the awkward conversations -- it was good. I remembered the curves my hands had graced, and how pleasing it was to me. I thought about what seams I have yet to compromise.

Why I let myself dwell in the past and fantasies of the future, I do not know. It just feels right sometimes. It feels as if it will benefit me in some way. My intentions are unclear to me, at least on the surface (or at least that's what I'll tell you).

Even now, though, I feel the oppressive wool pulling off from my eyes.

Assuming it's okay with my English professor, I will be conducting an interview with the bestselling author of Crank, Glass, and Burned (among others), Ellen Hopkins, next week. You have no idea how excited I am about this.

The paper is supposed to be on a dream career of mine (writing), the working conditions, and everything of the like. This is a very exciting opportunity for me, because not only is Ellen Hopkins one of the coolest authors in the world, she is also in the middle of a ton of controversy right now.

Mrs. Hopkins was scheduled to speak in Norman, OK, a few weeks ago, as part of an auction that was to benefit a Phoenix bookseller who was in dire need of help to pay her cancer-related hospital bills. Some annoyed, conservative parents began throwing a hissy fit because Mrs. Hopkins' books include drug use, sex, and violence (because we all know that isn't seen anywhere else, right?).

However, unlike the other forms of media that actually GLORIFY these things, Ellen Hopkins speaks out AGAINST addiction, telling a story loosely based on that of her daughter. While I will agree that it definitely isn't at the top of what I would consider 'appropriate reading' for people 12-13, I will also submit that her books do a service to children and young adults in the world that need guidance.

I recently sent Mrs. Hopkins a Tweet to ask if it was all right that we conduct an interview for my assignment, and she promptly responded by telling me that it wouldn't be a problem as long as it can wait until next week. It can wait, but I am absolutely excited about another chance to speak with one of my favourite authors.

Thank you, Ellen. I owe you, BIG-TIME.

I am not a vegan.

At least, that's what I'm being told. I frequent Reddit, specifically the vegan Sub-Reddit, and there's been discussion today about honey. Is it vegan. Obviously, it's an animal product, so it really isn't. However, I think that honey is different and, in my opinion, something that we can be lenient towards.

I know I'll catch some flack from my vegan friends for saying that I don't totally avoid honey products, or recoil in repulsion whenever I see 'honey' on the ingredients list. I've read the arguments that say honey isn't vegan, and I can understand that, but in some cases, honey is nearly inevetable, at least here. Do I go seeking honey on a daily basis? No. But I won't go out of my way to avoid it, either.

The fact of the matter is, honey is similar to organic meat, in my opinion. Many beekeepers do not abuse their bees, they do not do anything malicious in order to gather the honey, they are not cruel to the bees. It's much different than what happens in factory farms to the cows and the pigs.

I will say, however, that I do disagree with the apparent methods of reproduction brought about by the same site that argues that honey isn't vegan. Evidently, male bees are crushed, the semen is taken from their bodies, and injected into the Queen. It isn't said to be a regular practice, just 'becoming more popular.'

This argument reminds me of someone saying that Glenn Beck is the voice of America just because he's becoming popular with a bunch of loonies and idiots. In the same way, this is probably not the most beneficial method of producing more bees, and there are cruelty-free methods being practiced all over the world.

Something that bothers me about veganism, after my few months of being a vegan, is that some see it as a kind of... religious thing. You have to be absolutely animal free, with no exceptions. I can understand this, I mean, cripes, the definition of 'vegan' is someone who doesn't use animal-derived products. It's not like I'm not trying, though.

Recently, I've been living by a motto that I kind of made up for myself. I dunno, it may have been written somewhere else before, but I like to think of it as my own. It is this: "Though I may not be perfect today, I will work towards making a better me for tomorrow."

Until other vegans can accept that some will continue to eat honey because it is not a big deal to them, I should be considered a 'beegan.' But I'm trying, Ringo. I'm trying real hard.

Dear Parents, Students, and Teachers:

Grow up.

I have no idea what your problems are, but I'm getting real tired of them. This morning, President Obama is set to give a speech about education, and you're playing it off as though he's going to indoctrinate the children of the nation and turn them all into zombie communists, or something just as stupid and fictitious.

I get it, you don't like the president. He's threatening to you because he's slightly liberal, and otherwise moderate. I understand how you dislike his attempts to actually reach across the aisle and try and involve you in talks for a health care bill which you refuse to vote for even if it was an entirely Republican bill which legally allows the health insurance companies to figuratively bend you over and rape you, and then take all of your money. I also understand how you're still kind of sore from that beatdown the general American public gave you in the 2008 elections, by electing 58 Democrats, 2 Independents, and a measly 48 Republicans (most of whom probably won because of their appeal to the conserva-tard masses that believe the words in 'Every Sperm is Sacred' as the gospel, and don't see it as the satire that it is).

Guess what? Just like we had to deal with eight years of Bush, you're going to have to deal with four years of Obama. THAT'S JUST HOW IT WORKS. Stop bitching and complaining at every turn that you don't like what he's doing, if it's not anything political. He's giving a speech to students. The text of said speech has been released to the public to study. Maybe you should set an example, and go do that.

[link]

Evil Marxist indoctrination if'n I ever read it.

The real sad part about this is the message that you who oppose this are sending. You're basically telling kids that listening to the president is a bad thing. Don't get me wrong, I agree with questioning authority and fighting for stuff you believe in. It's our right. But to keep kids out of school is really counterproductive.

So, to all the school districts restricting this speech, a hearty 'fuck you' is in order. Was there this much controversy when Reagan, Bush 41, or Bush 43 gave similar speeches? I'll save you the necessary brain power you would normally need to think by answering that for you: No, there wasn't. You're disgusting, and your bias is showing.

-Ron

I've decided to hold my own jacquerie against the likes of Facebook and MySpace. Both sites are pure shit. Good ideas at first. After all, they try to connect people. However, they keep us in front of the computer and don't let us live.

I remember when I first got a MySpace account, I posted a blog, bashing on emo people, and the clothing store, Zumiez, for their disgusting store.

About four years later, and I finally did what I should have a long time ago, I deleted that goddamn parasite. I cut it off. No longer will it, or Facebook keep me from doing what I should be doing, which is finding a job, finding a girl, and writing my goddamn stories.

I gave up e-wrestling this week, because I don't have the patience to write the same character over and over again. It's like what Chris Seaver said to me about his character, Bonejack.

He said to me, in short, that he had done the character for so long, he was tired of it. The character had run its course. I feel that way about MySpace, Facebook, and e-wrestling. Those three things were pretty instrumental in keeping me on my ass and hindering my potential from being realized, and now that I've shed those protective layers, I feel so much more relieved.

No more do I have to run the risk of running into unsavory people if I don't want to. I don't have to deal with tags, or groups, or bulletins, or blogs.

Blogs. ... What a shitty name. I much prefer the term, "journal." As Ben "Yaaaaaaaahtzee" Croshaw put it, "blog" sounds like something that sits at the bottom of a lake and communicates solely through farts.

So yeah, I'm done with MySpace and Facebook, and I'm going to become a stronger person today, because I can quit this addiction to social sites, and I can realize my potential as a writer, as a lover, as a human being. Today is a new day. And now, I should get to sleep, but I won't.